Movie 26 - The King's Speech

For movie 26 I tagged along and watched The King's Speech. The King's Speech is rooted in history and deals with King George VI's speech impediment and him overcoming that to rally his country. I wish I could tell you who was in this, the only person I really know off hand is Helena Bonham Carter. King George or Berty (thanks TJ!) as his family called him has quite the stuttering problem. He also has a problem in that he's on the short list to become king after his father dies, who is in poor health. His brother is next on the list but his lifestyle doesn't really fit with what a king's should be so no one really expects him to be king for long. So that means Berty has to try to fix his speaking problem. He's tried many people and no one is helping until he starts with a man named Lionel. Lionel has a more therapeutic approach that at first doesn't sit well with the royal family. The cinematography in this movie is sometimes really pretty and sometimes kind of artsy fartsy feeling. There are also parts where it kind of feels heavy handed, in particular the part where they are watching a little 8mm recording and it conveniently has a completely different thing on the same reel and the characters get to say a little something about it. This is a pretty good movie, it's not something I'd watch again but it was decent enough for one viewing. It didn't really grab me like I would have liked but that could have been the crappy theater and I audience I had to work with so give it a shot on your own.

3.3 fuck fuck fucks out of 5

Movie 25 - Black Swan

For movie 25 I payed to see Black Swan at the local cinema. Black Swan stars Natalie Portman as a ballerina who wants to be all that she can be and land a major role as the swan in the number "Swan Lake." She has a fixation on being perfect and it turns in to obsession. She has a mother who treats her like she's twelve and is overbearing and seems to be living vicariously through her daughter. Her mother was a ballerina too but had to give it up when she got pregnant. She's so fixated on being perfect that she ends up not being perfect for the role she really wants. Well, not all of it, the part of the swan requires her to play a technical side and a more passionate side. She's so in to being perfect that she can't let go for the passionate half. So that's the plot which didn't turn me off, the other parts of the movie did somewhat. The camera work is something that you will notice in the first five minutes of being pretty different than most movies this side of the straight-to-dvd river. They are uncomfortably close and dizzying. Maybe that statement was a little harsh but I think that it will turn a lot of people off to the movie. I'm sure it was intentional and done in order to make us as uncomfortable as the main character but it almost seems like too much to me. The special effects are sometimes a little overdone for this type of movie. I mean, yeah it illustrates her descent and what have you but I think it may have been a tad much. Things can also feel a little dramatic or theatrical due to the music sometimes. I'm sure that's on purpose too since it is a movie based around a performance but if you put all of those things together the movie can start to feel a little iffy. Great performances and definitely an interesting movie but I think some of the creative choices will detract from this movie in some way for a lot of people.

3.8 toenails out of 5

Lizz says, "I hated the camera shots in Black Swan and it wasn't as good as I expected."

Movie 24 - Futurama: Bender's Big Score

Movie 24 was Futurama: Bender's Big Score. I hope all of you are familiar with the show! This movie deals a lot with time travel and paradoxes and about internet scammers and love and all that good stuff. Basically what happens is everyone gets a bunch of spam, Bender gets taken over by some spyware viruses and some aliens come in and control Bender and weasel a lot out of everyone via scamming. It's neat that this type of show delved into such a storyline with time traveling and all. A problem I often end up noticing with feature length versions of short cartoon comedy shows is that they always seem like a few similar episodes stitched together. This one is kind of in that territory but not as much as some other movies like this I've seen. The Futurama "essence" is in full effect here and I don't watch the show very much for whatever reason so it was fairly fresh to me and I'm sure fans of the show wouldn't mind more Fry and friends.

3.7 unfinished Mona Lisas out of 5

Movie 23 - The Fighter

For movie 23 I took a trip to the theater to see The Fighter. The Fighter is a movie based on true events about boxing and in a lot of ways it is similar to Rocky. This movie stars Mark Wahlberg as Mickey who is an up and coming boxer and younger brother of Dickey played by Christian Bale. Dickey was once a big shot boxer himself but these days he's mixed up in crack and thinks he's on his way back up to the top. Christian Bale does a PHENOMENAL job in his role. During the credits they play a little segment featuring the actual people and the actual Dickey and his mannerisms and way of speech are spot on. Mark does a good job too but I really felt that Mr Bale steals the show, even if his character throws every kind of monkey wrench into the plans of his younger brother. Mickey's whole family has problems, he seems like the only one with his head on straight other than his dad or step-dad, I forget what he actually is. His mom favors Dickey way more than poor Mickey and they both seem to be milking him just for the money he gets for fighting. This was such an outstanding movie, a Rocky for a new generation, except the actual boxing segments are better done. The title of The Fighter applys to more than one area, Mickey fights in the ring, fights for and against his family, fights for his own happiness, fights for his girlfriend and fights to overcome such a shitty situation around him. A great movie, don't miss it.

5 cakes out of 5

Lizz says, "It was really really good and it gave me goosebumps at the end."

Movie 22 - Eclipse

For movie 22 I watched Eclipse. Eclipse, for those living under a rock, is the third in a quadrology of vampire romance novels turned movie that are insanely popular. I'm coming at this as someone who never read the books. I'm going to assume most of you know what happens in the other two previous movies or books because so does this movie. I remembered bits and pieces from the first two like that Bella is awkward and loves Edward but also likes Jacob and Ed and Jake hate each other because they're from different monster schools but there's also this lady trying to kill Bella for some reason and also Bella has some special blood or something. A gripe I had with this one is it doesn't really get people like me or "outsiders" or even "boyfriends of Twilight fans" back up to speed in any way. It doesn't talk about why Bella is so important or much about the secret society that seems to be pulling strings in the background even though I know they went over it in previous films. As a result I felt like I was just floating along watching the movie and watching scenes play out without much context. The acting is a thing of question in this one, I don't remember liking the first one much but I did sort of enjoy the second one because it revolved more around someone with some personality but this one kind of falls between the two. This movie really felt like just a bridge to get to the next movie to me. The specials effects are a little hit and miss. I would tell people who aren't fans and who aren't friends of fans that they aren't missing anything but I think they already know that and I think all the fans and poor boyfriends have already seen it anyway.

2 ugly rings out of 5

Lizz says, "I liked it but I was surprised there wasn't that big of a fight scene because I felt like it was a huge part of the book."

Movie 21 - Blade Runner

Movie 21 and tonight I watched Blade Runner. This is set in the future, 2019 to be exact. In this future there were some androids made to be as human as possible, even more human than human in some cases. There was very little way to differentiate an android (replicant) from a human. At some point all replicants got exiled to Mars and they were outlawed on Earth. A "Blade Runner" is a special cop that hunts down and "retires" these replicants once they sneak back onto Earth. Earth is a much different place in 2019 especially LA. The city is dark and dirty and neon lit, the people talk in a mishmash of different languages and it's just so dang DIRTY. Advertisements are on everything and televisions are still in tubes. I thought it was kind of funny that with all the prediction the people making this had about the future they couldn't even think that one day our televisions would be inches thick instead of around a foot and a half. I thought the setting was really well done it has that whole cyber punk thing going on that a lot of sci-fi movies seem to have. It feels similar to the 5th Element that way, just with an extra layer of dinge on everything. This movie raises some questions on how to handle a manufactured being and what not. Honestly I didn't have the best viewing of this movie, as I watched it in about 5 different segments due to events outside of the movie needing my attention and as such I didn't get a great feel for the story. I will watch it again at some point, maybe even the director's cut. Unfortunately at the moment I feel that I can't give a proper score so I'll just rate what I did see, just take this one with a grain of salt.

3.7 origami gum wrappers out of 5

Movie 20 - Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

For movie 20 I decided to watch Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Well, I myself didn't decide, my girlfriend kind of decided for us. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is supposed to be a fairly classic musical I guess, we got the idea from a book called 501 Must-See Movies or something like that. This has Marilyn Monroe in it playing a ditsy lady who seems more interested in how fat a man's wallet is than the man himself. She's the definition of a gold digger in this movie but she doesn't really think she is. Also she's dumb as a brick. There's a scene where she thinks a tiara is a necklace and asks how you get it around your neck. This also has Jane Russell in it and I only know that because I can see it right up there. She plays the anti-Monroe's character in this movie, she's more interested in a hunk than a guy with a lot of money. Also while Jane's character wants more of a fling Marilyn's character seems to want marriage. This is an extremely classic movie and the fact that I'm pretty jaded or whatever I found this movie pretty dull. I didn't much care for the music and the story didn't really grab my attention all that much. bleh

1.4 jock-strap looking swimming trunks out of 5

Lizz says, "meh"

Movie 19 - Devil

Movie 19 was Devil. Devil is an M. Night Shyamalan movie about some people who get stuck in an elevator. This may be the Jaws of elevators in that this movie will make you nervous when you set foot inside one of those things again. This movie stars a bunch of people you've probably never seen before so I'm just going to leave it at that. As I said before there's a group of people stuck in an elevator, all of them end up being pretty dicey people. I'm having a really big case of writer's block tonight so bear with me. There's an annoying old lady, an annoying young lady, a weird ugly salesman, an uneasy security guard and a shady looking guy all stuck on this elevator together. They all get a little crazy and start distrusting each other and what not. Then someone gets attacked while the lights are out. And then someone dies. It all spirals downhill from there. The movie as a whole felt very average to me and wasn't very suspenseful or anything fun like that. Everything just happened and the movie chugged right along. It was interesting to have something like an old folk tale take place in a modern setting. Just rent it if you're in the mood for something average.

2.7 hats in the wind out of 5

Movie 18 - Restrepo

Movie 18 and I watched Restrepo. Restrepo is a documentary about a platoon of soldiers stationed in the most dangerous place in the world. I really can't say much about this other than that it was astounding. What these men went through  for their deployment was nothing short of heroic. You'll follow them into missions, you'll see them fighting, you'll see them digging through the aftermath of a bombing, you'll see them talking with locals, you'll see them laugh and cry. Its moving, its funny, its sad and it really puts you in the situation, well about as close as you can from your living room. Definitely watch this documentary, it's a must see.

5 shells in the shoe out of 5

Movie 17 - Clifford's Really Big Movie

Movie 17 and I wasn't really feeling like much so I watched Clifford's Really Big Movie. I hope everyone reading this also read Clifford books when they were younger because I sure did and I really liked them. A big red dog, what's not to like? This movie, believe it or not, actually features a really big red dog by the name of Clifford. I may be wrong but wasn't he mute in the books? He talks in this movie and not just a little bit. The plot has something to do with Clifford and friends being at a carnival and seeing a show of the most amazing animals ever, or so they claim. There's a chihuahua that lifts weights, a dachshund that is x-treme to the maxx, a ferret that does trapeze and a cow that is a tight rope walker. The team at the circus really needs some sort of success to continue doing their show or else they're going to get shut down and they decide to enter a contest but they need an edge. Then Clifford busts in to the tent to get some autographs and they get the inspiration to hire Clifford and his friends. For a 3rd party kid's movie the animation for this really isn't bad, neither is the movie. Don't expect anything like Toy Story or Wall-E or The Lion King or anything but if you have a kid and don't want to buy Tugger the Jeep who thought he was a jet plane or whatever that one was give this one a shot.

2.4 huge dog dishes out of 5

Movie 16 - Bart Got a Room

Movie 16 and I watched Bart Got a Room. Bart Got a Room boils down to one kinda nerdy kid's quest to find a good prom date before it's too late. This movie's cast is filled up with mostly no0names, other than William H Macy who sports a thin 70's style afro. The plot is pretty thin, there's this girl the main guy has been friends with forever but they've only ever been friends and she's a tad on the ugo side. The movie kind of reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite. I'm not exactly sure what time this movie is supposed to happen in but people dress with a late 70's flair and have cell phones. There wasn't a whole lot to really chew on in this movie. Most of it wasn't very funny and the plot was just kind of barely there and had the feeling that you have sort of already seen this movie before. This really felt like it would be a good fit for a Comedy Central movie that airs on regular cable. I wouldn't recommend spending money on this.

2.4 bow ties out of 5

Lizz says, "It was really awkward."

Movie 15 - Inception

Movie 15 and I watched Inception. Inception may be a difficult movie to wrap your head around in my short little reviews so just bear with me. Inception takes place in a world where you can dream with people. I'm not talking like you fall asleep next to each other and you have your own dreams individually. You can actually all jack into some sort of machine and tag along in another persons dream world. More than one can go in to that dreamland together. The idea is that you can either discover people's secrets or plant a thought into someone's head by doing that. I think that's as far as I'm going to go into describing that, there is more to it but you can find that out when you watch it and you should. Leonardo DiCaprio leads a fairly star studded cast in this film such as Juno girl and Micheal Caine and even the emperor guy from The Last Samurai, among others. There are definitely a lot of little tricks and neat things to catch and behold, you are in a dream world for over half of the movie after all! That lends itself to some neat action scenes especially the zero gravity one. How does that happen you may ask? Watch and find out! The story side of things is pretty good too. I think maybe they could have gone more in to the subconscious side of things because they do talk about it but it ends up being largely inconsequential. The film attempts to tell two stories at the same time and it does a good job I feel and it will keep you absorbed throughout; if you can keep up. If you have trouble following some movies you may not enjoy this one for much more than the cool physics and world bending effects. If you do fall in to that category watch it anyway.

4.5 loaded dice out of 5

Lizz says, "I like it but the ending pissed me off."

Movie 14 - Dinner for Schmucks

Movie 14 was Dinner for Schmucks. Dinner for Schmucks seems to me like a cash-in kind of movie with Steve Carell and Paul Rudd both playing character types that they seem to be cast in to a lot. Steve is a crazy kind of dumb guy and Paul plays a dude that's in love and does silly things like sing and punch weak. This movie is about Paul's character finally getting an opportunity to get his promotion and he has to impress his bosses by bringing an idiot to a special dinner they have to make fun of said idiots. His fiance who he can't get to say yes to his marriage proposals has a huge problem with this so he gives up, until he hits Steve's character and has an idiot fall right in to his lap. Hilarity ensues. Kind of. All of the jokes felt a little "been-there-done-that" to me. There was a couple of laughs to be had but nothing was really special or stood out or seemed like it was very heavily influenced from another movie, especially the artist guy. He seems ripped right out of Forgetting Sarah Marshal but with minor tweaks made. Really the coolest part of the movie is the little mouse dioramas that Steve's character likes to make. Not a bad way to spend a date but otherwise don't go out of your way to watch this.

3.2 Jesus mice out of 5

Lizz says, "I guess it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be but I still laughed."

Movie 13 - Death of a Ghost Hunter

For movie 13 I had the distinct displeasure of watching Death of a Ghost Hunter. Death of a Ghost Hunter is about this lady who is right out of acting school staring in a movie with some people who couldn't afford acting school. The main character bumbles through her lines and narrates too fast while she struggles to pull off anything resembling a real emotion. Although according to the description this is actually a movie about a ghost hunter who meets a tragic end on one of her cases and is regarded as the most tragic event in ghost hunting history ever that ever occurred ever in the history of ever. Expect to see ghosts, bad ones, and hear innovative creepy things like backwards talk and sit on the edge of your seat to witness the very best in cheap camera tricks. Another solid aspect to this movie is the audio mastering. There was a couple of times where it seemed out of sync and throughout the movie the average volume fluctuates quite a bit so if you do decide to subject yourself to this travesty make sure you keep a finger on the volume. I find myself short on words. The mastery at work here by everyone involved makes it an absolute delight to watch. Not.

.6 chairs out of 5

Lizz says, "It was a shitty movie with crappy acting but it still creeped me out for some reason."

Movie 12 - Batman: Under the Red Hood

Movie 12 and I had the pleasure of watching Batman: Under the Red Hood. Under the Red Hood starts out with Robin getting very badly beaten by the Joker and then blown up as Batman is just a little too late to save him. This is an animated film from DC Comics and I must say that I was very impressed by the quality of the animation. When the movie first started I wasn't quite sure about things, the Joker's voice is quite a bit different than what we're used to hearing and the cartoon style looks like it's right out of a modern saturday morning cartoon. Think more along the lines of Batman Beyond than the first Batman animated series. The art style may be questionable to some but I don't think anyone could argue about the animation. The fight scenes are pretty impressive, it's full contact and full motion and the individual cuts can be kind of long for a cartoon action scene. I'm a big fan of long cuts in movies. The kind of brings me to my next point, this movie is brutal. There's plenty of violence but it's not gory or anything. It's just more brutal than any of the cartoon series' ever were and this is really my first animated Batman movie so I didn't know what to expect. The story is a pretty mature one and is very good. Good stuff, don't count this one out just because it's a cartoon or something. I'll be checking out the other animated super hero movies and see how those are in the future.

4.3 thruster mines out of 5

Movie 11 - Despicable Me

Movie 11 was Despicable Me. Despicable Me is all about a super villain named Mr. Gru who is a little down on his luck. The evil bank won't give him an evil loan for his next bad thing he wants to do and some new villain outdid everyone by stealing one of the pyramids. Mr. Gru is voiced by Steve Carell and he does a pretty good job putting on an evil accent and only rarely can  you really recognize his voice. There's some other notables in the cast like Jason Segel and Russel Brand but I didn't recognize them in the movie without looking it up, which is good for me. Gru has his minions for help who are a sea of cute little yellow critters that kind of remind me of lemmings for some reason. Gru's life gets turned upside down when he comes to adopt three little girls. All of the girls are cute as the dickens and an absolute delight. That's really this whole movie, a delight to watch. It's funny enough but it's always at least light-hearted and it's not overly sappy when it inevitably reaches that point so all of you easy-criers shouldn't worry about that part if you're embarrassed to watch it with company or something. It was a very good, solid movie.

3.8 fluffy SO FLUFFY unicorns out of 5

Lizz says, "Agnes is the cutest little thing I have ever seen and I want to steal her."

Movie 10 - The Oxford Murders

The Oxford Murders was my movie number 10. The Oxford Murders stars Elijah Wood as a foreign student going to college for math I assume. It didn't really say. His idol is a logic professor and he really wants to get him to sponsor his thesis paper for when he graduates or whatever. That's not really important. He goes to a lecture this guy is holding and tries to get his attention by offering a differing point of view and gets shut down and rejected. So Elijah storms home and packs up all his books and is going to go fly home when he sees this professor walking up to the house. They find the body of the lady who owns the house he is staying at and the professor remembers that he got a weird note just before going over there and this sets off an investigation on who the murderer is and why he is doing what he's doing and what's going on with the symbols! Run on sentence! It all kind of reminded me of movies like The Davinci Code or National Treasure. They talk about all these math questions and theories so you feel smarter after watching it, which I can't complain about. Even if it's just BARELY touching on such things, it's interesting at least. It's fortunate that the film has that going for it, because at least two thirds of the movie are very clumsily directed and at times there's almost a disconnect between scenes. It's kind of hard to really put my finger on it but if you see it you'll probably notice something along those lines. Or I'm crazy. It wasn't really a bad movie and not really a great movie. I do think it could have been considerably better but this is what we get. There's plenty to choose from if you're looking for an intellectual thriller and this probably shouldn't be your first choice.

2.9 squash racquets out of 5

Movie 9 - The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Movie 9 was The Rocky Horror Picture Show. This movie is pretty well known for being kind of sexual. You'll spot Meatloaf and Susan Sarandon, and it also stars Tim Curry as a transsexual. This is also a musical with pretty decent music I suppose. Other than that though, I have no idea what the hell was going on throughout most of the hour and thirty minutes I was watching. There's people getting turned to stone, turned back alive, dancing, dressing odd, dancing some more, walking through a castle, creating a man, eating, and some weird plot with aliens towards the end. Really its all just eye candy for the singing I suppose. I guess you could argue that this movie is about sexuality . . . or something, but I think that would be a stretch. What can I write about a movie that wasn't about anything?! That's not to say it wasn't entertaining most of the time. Decent music but just buy the soundtrack as far as I'm concerned. What just happened?!

2.1 pitchfork lasers out of 5

Movie 8 - Fists of Bruce Lee

Movie 8 was Fists of Bruce Lee. This movie features Bruce Li as Bruce Lee in a movie about an undercover cop. Or something. To say this was a slow moving movie would be an understatement. I was sitting and watching it when my girlfriend came in and asked me how much more I had to go. I looked and I had only watched 30 minutes. It felt like way more. The voice overs are laughably done and most of them sound like it was the first take. I got this movie as part of a collection from a grocery store on dvd and it looks to be right off of VHS. That's ok though, because it's so old I don't expect it to be high definition or anything, it was just a little jarring at first. The first scenes are pretty fair I guess but they can kind of drag after a few minutes of kung fu kicks. I feel like a lot of charm in old kung fu movies is how bad some of them are, but this one sits a little too far away from what i would call campy or so-bad-its-good territory.

1.1 awkward stances out of 5

Movie 7 - Miller's Crossing

Movie 7 was Miller's Crossing. Miller's Crossing takes place in the 50's sometime and centers around one guy and how he plays his angles. Gabriel Byrne plays that man. You may recognize him Satan himself in End of Days. At first he just seems to be a sort of advice giver to the leader of an organized crime syndicate, but as the film progresses you start to get the feeling that he was pulling all the strings in the background. The guy is an excellent string puller, as soon as one angle is worked he's working another, all to either save his ass or achieve some goal he's working on. Things get out of hand as one of the mob's higher ups decides to cut himself a piece of the pie. Through in the mob boss's girlfriend and her brother who everyone seems to want dead and bookie that needs his money and you've got a knot of strings that all need pulling. The film pulls along and it's steady burn it's got going but I felt it never really let the shit hit the fan. The main character seems like he knows exactly what's happening outside of maybe two scenes. That's part of what I enjoy most about a lot of Coen Bros films, the part where everything seems to fall out from under everyone. Although it doesn't happen in this one you shouldn't worry because there are enough turns to keep your attention throughout. It will kept my attention but it never really pulled me to the edge of my seat.

3.8 high hats out of 5

Movie 6 - Exit Through the Gift Shop

For movie 6 I watched Exit Through the Gift Shop. Exit Through the Gift Shop is a documentary all about the street art and graffiti that has blown up in recent years in terms of popularity. Being a huge fan of graffiti I was pretty pumped to watch this. It follows a man who is obsessed with filming and archiving his life named Thierry Guetta. Thierry is just an italian with a camera filming everything until he travels to Italy one time and meets his cousin who enjoys putting tiles together so that it looks like Space Invader sprites and then he glues them on walls and buildings around the city. Thierry is a very charismatic, if not maybe a little unbalanced individual and following his cousin around draws him into the graffiti scene. Or street art, whatever you want to call it. Via his cousin he meets other graffiti artists and he films everyone and everything. Eventually he gets a meeting with the last artist on his list BANKSY  HIMSELF LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. They go around and have a few adventures and Thierry gets caught and interrogated but he doesn't give up the big secret so Banksy really trusts him extra hard now. I feel like I'm just talking about the story so lets stop that. This was a very fun and funny and neat look at the street art scene and necessary viewing for anyone with a level of interest in things like that. It ends up being something other than what I thought it would be. Thierry turns into something you probably wouldn't expect and it's even better because people eat it right up.

4.2 Campbell's spray paint cans out of 5

Movie 5 - Alice in Wonderland

Movie 5 was the modern Alice in Wonderland. This is a sort of re-telling of the old movie but a sequel at the same time. Although I don't believe I've seen the first one from the comments my girlfriend was making it seems to follow the same story. It starts out with a girl who has too much imagination for those around her and she runs off and falls down a rabbit hole into a strange land. This was also directed by Tim Burton. I am usually not a fan of his little twisted dark charming stuff and thankfully this movie doesn't really contain anything that goth kind of sillyness. The scenery was my favorite part of this movie, from the twisted forests to the Queen of Red's castle and the way she has all the animal slaves and what they do. Speaking of the Queen of Red she is played by the lady that plays Marla Singer in Fight Club, she has a huge head and she likes to order the heads of other things to be removed. It's neat to see all of the little creatures and scenes in this movie because they aren't really you're stereotypical stuff or at least to me they weren't. A lot of people who inhabit Wonderland are proportionately challenged and most of them are kind of cool, except Johnny Depp's eyes. They made his eyes two sizes too big and it is the thing nightmares are made of. This is definitely a fun movie and I was pleasantly surprised, give it a peek.

3.7 giant freaky eyeballs out of 5

Lizz says, "I liked the mouse."

Movie 4 - The Hebrew Hammer

For day 4 I watched The Hebrew Hammer. This is also post 100, which is unfortunate because if I had known I would have made sure I watched a movie that was at least SUPPOSED to be good. I was in the mood for a comedy tonight and it was between this and The Burbs I believe, with Tom Hanks and I went with this for some reason. In concept this sounds like a good movie, a blacksploitation movie but with Jews instead of black folk. This movie really feels like a comedy central production and I'm pretty sure it is, which isn't bad just expect a low budget and some c-listers. Andy Dick is Santa and he decides he's going to do away with silly non-christian holidays by sabotaging the Jews. This movie has some funny parts but I think that maybe a lot is lost if you don't know a Jew. I can't really think of much more to say about this movie other than a couple parts are funny but don't go out of your way to watch it.

1.5 atomic clocks out of 5

Movie 3 - Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus

Movie number 3 was Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus. The spell check is flagging Crocosaurus as if it's misspelled. I guess discovery of this creature hasn't hit mainstream news yet. In this highly anticipated cinema event a shark bigger than any military ships finds itself trying to eat the eggs of a momma croc. The scale of this movie is just immense. Obviously this movie stars those two mega titans I previously mentioned and the supporting cast is pretty laughable, filled with no names. Except one man. Jaleel White. "Who is Jaleel White?" you may ask, and I'll tell you. URKEL. That's right. Urkel is in this movie. The rest of this review will do little to change your mind as to whether or not you watch this masterpiece and I will not try to dissuade you. This is pure sci-fi monster cheese throughout. The extras are so laughably horrible and doing such small tasks such as arbitrarily pointing at a map, following orders or even walking down a hallway. Next to Urkel there's a couple of other main actors. You will probably recognize the captain of the super elite military ship but you won't know his actual non-actor name. His second hand man has a good old-fashioned case of over-acting. There's a Crocodile Dundee, Peirce Brosnan, Johnny Depp channeling dude thrown in too. Then there's the lady that recruits them all who also has a mean case of the try-hards. The special effects here wouldn't stand out from any random Sci-Fi channel movie. This isn't a great film but I wouldn't tell anyone not to watch it either. It is a good cheesy palate cleanser.

2.5 arc flashes out of 5

Movie 2 - Predators

Movie 2 was Predators. First I'm going to say that I'm a huge Predator fan and that I think I may have impossible standards for new Predator movies to meet. Adrian Brody stars in this film, which I thought was an odd choice, as well as Topher Grace. This is an action movie after all and to cast Brody as the lead just seems weird. Danny Trejo and the other lesser known actors are about the only castings I thought made sense. I was willing to give it a shot, though. Morpheus also has a brief role. It starts out with Adrian and friends getting dropped into a jungle and none of them know why or where they are. It becomes apparent that they are being hunted by THE GREATEST HUNTERS IN THE GALAXY. As usual recently the Predators have been redesigned. I, for one, think that the original and sequel Predators were perfect. In this movie there's one with a weird jaw attached to his mask and they only have one claw that pops out of their gauntlet thing, which I didn't mind. The jaw thing was pretty stupid though. Also I find that in the newer movies with Predators in them the guys manning the suits go overboard with the mannerisms. It wasn't awful in this one but there was a couple of times when a Predator would cock his head to much side to side. A more classic Predator does make an appearance but they did something stupid to his mask too. As far as the movie goes it plods along and people die here and there but I'd say it was pretty forgettable. The Predators are supposed to be the greatest hunters in the galaxy yet they fall for tricks that they employed against their own prey. In the first two they never really fell for anything super obvious. I don't get why we can't get a decent Predator movie these days. sigh. The best thing about this movie was all the winks to fans of the first movies. Another nice touch was that nearly all of the music is only slightly modified from the first two movies. Adrien Brody also wears a batman voice through the movie which is kind of funny once you notice.

2.8 elephant tusk dogs out of 5

Movie 1 - The Man Who Wasn't There

I'm going to give this another shot. I'm going back to school so I should have more time now that I'm not working 9+ hours every day. Although if I have a big day I'm not going to suffer through Masters of Horror junk just to say I got a movie in.

Anywho, today I watched The Man Who Wasn't There starring good ol' Billy Bob and that pregnant cop from Fargo. You will also find Monk and the mob boss from The Sopranos, as well as a few other familiar faces in here including a teenage looking Scarlett Johansson. The movie is about Billy Bob who finds himself as a barber who isn't really invested in his own life. He is just where he fell into place, he's not interested in his job, he's not very invested in his marriage and he suspects his wife is having an affair. One day a man comes to get his haircut who won't shut up about his business proposition -DRY CLEANING- It's a new technology for the time period. Did I mention this movie takes place in the 50's or somewhere in there? It's also black and white with a healthy dose of noir. Back to the plot, Billy Barber just can't catch a break and he decides he'll live a little and help this guy start his dry cleaning business. He goes the blackmail route in getting the funds and everything falls apart from there. Somehow he keeps sneaking by getting caught. Plenty of twists and turns but overall not very gripping. Good if you're feeling a little lazy. I think it bears mentioning that Mr. Thornton smokes at least five thousand cigarettes during the course of the movie. Tsk tsk

3.4 cigarettes out of 5