Day 88 - Paranormal Entity

Day 88 and I watched Paranormal Entity. On title alone go ahead and take a stab at what this movie is about. Even just looking at the box you can tell this is a "me too" movie. A shameless rip of Paranormal Activity. The titles even rhyme. It has almost an identical setup to the other Paranormal movie, there's a small family living in a nice house and an unknown presence is causing disturbances. At first the actors in this movie are just slightly unbelievable which can't happen in a movie like this, taken from the perspective of the characters. After a while they either catch their rhythm or I stopped caring. This isn't quite as scary as PA, but still manages to deliver some tense scenes. Although there are some scenes that are almost direct copies of scenes from Activity. They have activity in an attic, there's dusty footprints, the entity is interested in a girl, etc. Although this gets about a F- in the originality department, I really enjoy movies like this, shot in first person. So even though it's hard to respect and give this movie any sort of credit, I couldn't help but find some enjoyment in here.

3.1 jingle bells out of 5

Day 87 - Hudson Hawk

Day 87 and I watched Hudson Hawk. Hudson Hawk stars Bruce Willis as a cat burglar who likes to sing old songs when he's on the job. He gets mixed up somehow with a group of weirdos who are stealing a bunch of old Da Vinci artifacts. The weirdo bad guy masterminds are a couple of the ugliest actors you'll ever see. I recognized the girl from other movies but I don't know her name. Some of the weirdos go by the names of candy bars. There's all kinds of little goofy touches in this movie and I liked it a lot. The Da Vinci code this is not, but that's ok. What you have here is almost a spoofish action movie. It definitely feels like an 80s movie and that's not a bad thing. The best part is a gurney chase down the highway. Writer's block tonight, sorry listeners.

3.7 crystal mirror pieces out of 5

Day 86 - Homecoming

Day 86 and I watched Homecoming. Homecoming is about this football player star guy from a small town named Mike and he's back in his hometown for homecoming. He brings his girlfriend along for the trip. What he doesn't tell his current girlfriend, who is named Elizabeth is that he's got an ex in his hometown named Shelby. I'm gonna just say Shelby is a psycho and get that out of the way. Shelby thinks that she and Mike are still together and she doesn't take it well that he has a new girlfriend. In a nutshell, this movie is Misery for a newer generation. Some things don't click very well for me in this movie, the biggest of which is Shelby. Shelby weighs MAYBE 73 pounds. Shelby lives in a dump, we see her chopping wood. She can barely hold the ax, let alone swing it in a convincing way. There's other times where the movie asks her to be physical and she just can not sell it. In fact, any time either of the two girls need to be physical you can see it plain as day that they just don't have it in them. And no amount of editing can hide that fact. It takes me out of it a little bit. Other than that movies like this are incredibly frustrating to watch for me. Movies with someone who is whacked out of their mind. That's what movies like this are for and I guess it succeeded, I just wish maybe it had been cast differently instead of just having two attractive actresses play the parts.

2.5 awkward swings out of 5

Day 85 - Prozac Nation

Day 85 and I watched Prozac Nation. Prozac Nation is about the trials and tribulations one woman faces when she goes to Harvard on a journalism degree. Christina Ricci plays this girl and she does quite a good job. I didn't really catch or remember who she was playing . . . Elizabeth "Lizzy" something or other. She comes from a broken home, her dad split and her mom pushes her to be extra successful and once she gets on her own in college she kind of spirals out of control with drugs and lands in depression. She goes from ok to bitch is less than 2 seconds. She doesn't mean to but she ends up pushing everyone away from her. Every time you think she's making a little progress she gets nasty with someone. The movie does a good job in getting you to sympathize with her. If this movie had been done a little differently it would be easy not to like Lizzy and then the whole movie wouldn't matter so much. As it is though it's a pretty decent look at a section of this lady's life and the effects depression can have.

3.8 scribbles out of 5

Day 84 - Sounds Like

Day 84 and I suffered through another Masters of Horror movie, this time it was Sounds Like. Sounds Like is about a man who can hear everything. He can hear his wife crocheting and watching tv in the living room while he's in the garage. Mysteriously he's not bothered by the tv, or by traffic outside. This is a fairly big problem I found with the movie. At one point he hears his wife's EYEBALLS moving around while she's enjoying some rem sleep upstairs. If he can hear that well, the entire world would just be blasting in his ears at one time. Or maybe he's like many old people and has selective hearing. I kept finding myself asking "why can't hear hear these 10 other things obviously going on?" In one scene he hears the guy talking to him's lips cracking over his voice. This is a Masters of Horror movie after all, so I don't expect much sense to be made, but come on. Also this guy's neighbor plays basketball. Skip this one.

1 baby mouse out of 5

Day 83 - Fletch Lives

Day 83 and I watched the sequel to Fletch; Fletch Lives. I'm not sure that's a proper use of the semicolon, but oh well. In Fletch Lives we find Fletch up to his old stuff like reporting and dodging his land lord and fast talking his way out of things. Until one day Fletch gets a call saying that he had some old forgotten aunt (I think) has died and left him her plantation estate in Mississippi. So Fletch packs up and moves down there and finds the place in shambles. His lady helping him with the property and will ends up dead and he sets out to investigate. What this will boil down to is if you liked the first movie you'll probably like this one as well. In other news this movie thing has been a real chore the last couple of days, this must be the wall! I just want to say this to both of my readers, I'm still doing this!

3.6 pink Cadillacs out of 5

Day 82 - Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring

Day 82 and I watched Tom and Jerry: The Magic Ring. Anyone who knows who Tom and Jerry are can guess the plot of this movie. Tom chases Jerry. The animation is pretty decent I suppose. I didn't really find a lot to this, its just chase after chase after chase after chase after chase. There's a ring that gets stuck on Jerry's head and Tom is chasing it for most of the movie. A lot of side characters make an appearance here like the droopy dog, I think Droopy may actually be his name. Also the bulldogs are in here. I barely felt like watching a movie today so I just picked a short movie and this is what I picked. Not all days are going to be easy people.

1.4 rings out of 5

Day 81 - World's Greatest Dad

Day 81 and I watched World's Greatest Dad. This is a movie about a father played by Robin Williams who is raising a kid named Kyle by himself. Kyle is a total douche . . . and a pervert. Robin teaches at the school that Kyle goes to. Robin has a lot of problems connecting to his son and is having a relationship with another teacher and is also an aspiring writer who can't get a single thing published. Well, one day Robin comes home to find his son accidentally killed himself masturbating. I won't go much further into it than that. This is a movie that a lot of people won't "get." This is a dark comedy movie and I think that will turn a lot of people off. But those of us that can appreciate a twisted kind of comedy movie like this will be in for a treat. Robin Williams does his part extremely well. It's so much harder to write reviews for movies I enjoy. Hmmmm, what can I say? Give it a watch if an entire movie based around a kids accidental suicide doesn't immediately offend you.

4.2 blue green dress socks out of 5

Day 80 - A Sound of Thunder

Day 80 and I watched A Sound of Thunder. A Sound of Thunder is a science fiction movie that takes a look at the butterfly effect. For those not in the know it is believed that making ever small changes to the distant past could make drastic changes on the present. The set up is that some company offers "safaris to the past" and on one safari something gets screwed up and something gets changed in the past. Of course that affects the present but it comes in "time waves." With each wave comes something different. The main thing here is the monkey dinosaurs, which is just ridiculous. Why would lizards evolve in a primate direction. No idea. The movie doesn't really show many other creatures that would be affected by the alternate history of evolution, which I was interested in seeing. Oh well. Some people star in this movie, I think the main male role was familiar but I can't be sure, nothing is really well acted. The special effects will kind of take you out of the moment, they're a little old and a little stiff. I can't say I really enjoyed this one, folks.

2 nitrogen frozen bullets out of 5

Day 79 - Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly

Well, it's Day 79 and I watched Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly. Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly is a movie about this old jeep named Tugger who was built for duty in WWII. During the war poor Tugger had to have a part replaced and it was replaced with an airplane part! So of course, Tugger has it in him and all he wants to do is fly like a real plane some day! After the war he didn't have much to do so he was sold to guess what. . . a small time airfield. This is the perfect place for old Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly! But soon just watching planes fly around gets boring and he wants to do it for himself. The first thing you'll notice about Tugger: The Jeep 4x4 Who Wanted to Fly is that it's a computer animated movie. This is not a particularly well animated movie, the models are pretty simple and the animation is pretty amateur. Bleh. I'll be honest, I had a long day and this was only an hour long. There's some teeny things to take away from this movie but I get the feeling it's aimed at the under 6 crowd. I don't know why. . . .

1.7 coffee cups out of 5

Day 78 - Surrogates

Day 78 and I watches Surrogates. Surrogates is a movie about the future and in that future everyone lives their lives through the aid of a machine that they're jacked into. The machines look just like the user most of the time, only younger or thinner or more attractive. It allows people to live their lives almost care free, as what happens to your robot self has no physical consequence on the actual you. Somehow this caused the crime rates to drop to almost nothing. Well, somehow this guy gets a hold of a weapon that shorts out your surrogate and causes your physical brain to melt also. This gets the attention of the LAW and Bruce Willis is on the case. This is kinda just a so-so science fiction thriller. I like how it deals with the detachment or cheapening of emotions due to living life via machine. That's about it, the action isn't anything really special and the story isn't much to talk about either. The movie establishes pretty early that there are people who use surrogates that don't look just like them so every time that comes up and is supposed to be a big surprise it kind of isn't. It deals with the idea from a different perspective than the Matrix or Avatar but doesn't really have much going for it.

2.5 green bloods out of 5

Day 77 - The Open Road

Day 77 and I watched The Open Road. The Open Road is about Justin Timberlake dragging Jeff Bridges back to Texas where Justin's mom and Jeff's ex-wife is about to have heart surgery. Jeff's character doesn't really seem to want to go but won't tell anyone and instead he tries to find a way out of going. There's also Justin's ex tagging along for company. This is supposed to be a comedy but I only thought one part was even a little funny and I don't think it was supposed to be. That part is when Justin has a little tantrum on their rented Hummers bumper. I don't even see where anyone would find enough funny about this movie to call it a comedy, or an "indie comedy" as the description I read put it. Call it false expectations but I didn't really like this movie. Jeff's character seems likable at first and on the outside but after you watch him for a while that kind of goes away. I just wanted to watch a comedy!

2 hummers out of 5

Day 76 - Kick-Ass

Day 76 and I went and saw Kick-Ass. Kick-Ass is a movie fairly similar in idea to Watchmen in that some average people decide to be superheroes and fight crime. This is a little move grounded in reality because there's no super-powers at all, there's no weird mask changing magically and no Blue Man Group members messing with time and matter. That's not a knock on Watchmen at all, this is just a little different. This movie is probably more accessible to people who aren't really into comics. I say that because there's more humor to this and it's not as "nerdy." The violence in this movie is wonderfully done, I've read that it's overdone but I didn't really think so. You're watching a movie called Kick-Ass and there's people trying to be superheroes, of course there's going to be a lot of people getting their asses kicked. This doesn't tip toe around where everyone gets knocked out, people get shot and stabbed and cut up in this movie. I quite enjoyed this movie, Nic Cage is the man.

4.3 batons out of 5

Day 75 - We All Scream For Ice Cream

Day 75 and I watched We All Scream for Ice Cream. This is a Masters of Horror movie. I don't get how whoever makes these things can call themselves the "Masters of Horror" and sleep soundly at night. These movies aren't really that scary and they sure aren't masterfully scary or even well done. The actors kinda suck and the story is pretty stupid. Think Nightmare on Elm Street meets the circus. Some little kids pick on this ice cream truck driver who has a few screws lose, they accidentally kill him and the driver comes back from the beyond to get revenge. By eating a special voodoo ice cream the former bullies turn into melting ice cream themselves and kick the bucket. Nothing to see here, move along. Yes, I only watched this because it was really short.

.5 noses out of 5

Day 74 - The Quick and the Dead

Day 74 and I watched The Quick and the Dead. The Quick and the Dead is pretty much a collection of fast draw duels in the old west. There's also this lady played by Sharon Stone who had her father killed when she was little and she's out for revenge. For the most part she plays a hard case fairly well. There's not a whole lot of meaning to the story. There's a dueling contest in this town and most of the contestants have a personality and are interesting in some way. The duels are pretty suspenseful. There's some odd directing or camera work going on at times, especially during the first duel when the camera is zooming in like crazy on every single thing going on. Leonardo DiCaprio is in here, and young and he plays a hot shot little guy who thinks he's the best there is. There's Russel Crowe who plays a preacher who has a past of violence and the town mayor keeps pushing him to pick up the gun again. Gene Hackman plays the meanie of a town mayor. Everyone does pretty well and this is the old west so the setting is cool by default. This is a pretty good movie and I felt it may have ran on 10 or 20 minutes too long but I wasn't bored.

This gets 3.5 decks of aces out of 5

Day 73 - Just Cause

Day 73 and I watched Just Cause. Just Cause is about a black man accused of raping and murdering a little white girl in a small bayou town in Florida. He denies he's done anything and soon he's in jail after the police beat a confession out of him. Fast forward 8 years (I think) and he's still doing hard time but he sends his mom to go find a professor played by Sear Connery. Sean is a professor teaching about justice and things like that so he seems like a perfect fit to get this innocent man off of death row. Laurence Fishburne plays one of the bad cops who beat the confession out of the guy and there's another small surprise in the movie. Scarlet Johansson plays Sean's daughter and she's super young in this movie. The movie plays out at quite a pace, there's always something new in every scene, another knot presented in the twisted tale. It's easy to hate the bad guys and it's easy to root for Sean Connery as he does some detective work. Everything's done pretty well and it's not hard to follow at all. A good sleuthing movie for anyone who enjoys things like this.

3.9 I really can't think of anything out of 5

Day 72 - Dracula 2000

Day 72 and I watched Dracula 2000. Unexpectedly this is a movie about Dracula in the year 2000. Some thieves break in to this guys vault to look for treasure but they don't realize it's Van Helsing's house and they accidentally free Dracula from his prison. Van Helsing has a daughter and Dracula wants her and they fight about it. One good thing about this movie is that the vampires are actual vampires and not teenager heart throbs. They are seductive but we all know that's a power that vampires have and not true love. I can't say I really enjoyed this all that much though, on the whole it was pretty forgettable. There's some action but none of it is really crazy, there's some story but none if it is really interesting. Other than some of what is revealed of Dracula towards the end there's not much special going on. One neat little tidbit about this movie is that Gerard Butler plays Dracula and it's kinda funny to see him that young. Other than that, I'd pass unless you're bored.

1.5 I-forgot-whats out of 5

Day 71 - Bubba Ho-Tep

Day 71 and I watched Bubba Ho-Tep. Bubba Ho-Tep is a movie about Elvis who lives in a nursing home now and his friend who thinks that he's a Kennedy that's been dyed black by the government and together they rid their nursing home of some cowboy type mummy who is sucking out people's souls. If that sounds awesome that's probably because it sort of is. Bruce Campbell plays Elvis and he does a good job nailing the voice and what not. I'm extra tired today so I'll make this quick. This is a pretty good quirky little movie, there's funny parts and a Elvis fights a mummy, come on. I'd say give it a watch.

This gets 3.7 medicine bags out of 5

Day 70 - Drag Me to Hell

Day 70 and I watched Drag Me to Hell. Drag Me to Hell is about this loan officer lady who works at a bank. Despite her position it seems like everyone treats her as an intern. One day an old lady comes in to ask for another extension for her mortgage or something so her only house doesn't get repossessed. The star lady sees this as an opportunity and her boss leaves her in charge so she tells the old lady that there will be no more extensions and that she's SOL. The old lady takes it personally and lays a curse on the star lady and she spends the rest of the movie having people vomit into her mouth. There's at least four times where the star lady gets something nasty put into her mouth. I believe this movie is trying towards the campy but it didn't sit well with me. I'd prefer my campy comedy horror to be more overdone that this. There were a couple parts that made me laugh, but not enough. Parts of this seem pretty serious and then there will be a part that makes me want to scoop my eyeballs out and throw them across the street. Two cruddy horrors in a row.

1.3 kittens out of 5

Day 69 - Zombies of Mass Destruction

Day 69 and I watched Zombies of Mass Destruction. Zombies of Mass Destruction is about zombies. One thing that's immediately apparent in this movie is the caliber of the actors. I was almost tricked into thinking this was a documentary or something, everyone is that believable. There's the gay couple with one of the guys trying to find the courage to come out to his mother. There's some religious people. There's an Iranian family dealing with the prejudices of the small rural town. The tapestry of lives woven in this film is utterly believable. Then the zombies come, these are zombies like you've never seen. These zombies shamble and moan and vomit cottage cheese. The unique thing about this movie is that during the zombie gore and eating there's also a subtle social commentary playing out. You almost won't notice it, but it's there. Very clever, Zombies of Mass Destruction, very clever indeed. You should check this movie out because it's truly a gem and you should lose sleep until you cross this movie off your list.

Also it's backwards day.

1 eyeball out of 5

Day 68 - Clash of the Titans

Day 68 and I took a trip to the theater to watch Clash of the Titans. Clash of the Titans is about man getting pissed at the gods for being too tough on them and deciding they're not going to take it anymore and about the gods' response to that. Hades convinces Zues to let him scare people into praying again so the gods can get more immortality fuel. What Hades didn't realize at first was that there was a half-god by the name of Perseus who had quite the grudge against the gods to begin with and was just waiting for a reason. I have one person I know of that saw this and didn't hate it. I kind of figured I'd have to go in with lowered expectations as this obviously wasn't the next big thing. Oh well. The thing about this movie is that it's not supposed to be some revolutionary narrative on the old story, it's just an excuse to see the awesome mythological monsters redone with modern visual trickery on the big screen! The nerd in my was jumping out of my seat when I saw the pegasi and the kraken and Medusa! The computer effects are about as good as they come these days and it was a visual treat to behold. I saw some complaints about the dialogue being horrible or idiotic but I never really squirmed at anything anyone said. Well, there is one part where Perseus calls Medusa a bitch, but I can overlook one line. If you're a big time nerd like me, give this one a watch if not just to see all the crazy monsters.

3.7 sheathing swords out of 5.

Day 67 - The Boondock Saints

Day 67 and I watched The Boondock Saints. The Boondock Saints is about two twins brothers who are sick and tired or gangsters and russian mobsters ruling the city. In short order they also recruit a bagboy runner type guy that's been working for the mobs for years and knows where they all  hang out and what they do and where they live etc. Then they just go to town. It's told in an interesting way, much of the time you see the crime scene first, because a lot of the movie stars Willam Dafoe as a gay FBI agent who is on the coat tails of the brothers trying to figure out what the hell is going on. This creates a nice small bit of tension or a period where you will try to figure out what happened before he goes through the scene. This is a great movie, the characters are cool, it's told well and there's some bad guys getting theirs. You gotta watch this one.

4.6 toilets out of 5

Day 66 - The Brothers Bloom

Day 66 and I watched The Brothers Bloom. The Brothers Bloom is about a couple of brothers who had maybe a little bit of a rough upbringing and have become the dynamic duo of cons. Mark Ruffalo plays the older brother who is always concocting the cons and Adrien Brody plays the little brother who goes with the flow for the most part. Adrien is always written in as the guy who falls in love or whatever with the mark and it seems he's getting tired of it. He tells his older brother that he wants to stop doing this crap all the time and his brother takes him on one last con. The mark is a borderline crazy heiress to quite the family fortune. Despite all her quirks and Adrien's efforts guess what? He falls in love again. This is a pretty sweet movie, there's enough style and humor here that I really enjoyed it and didn't get bored or zone out or anything. This is just a pretty dang solid movie in all directions, check it out.

This is going to swindle 4.1 giant 12 foot tall unicycles out of 5

Day 65 - The Seventh Seal

Day 65 and I watched The Seventh Seal. The Seventh Seal shows the final travels of a knight and his squire as the return to where they lived but the plague is also there. There's a lot of religious tones and reflections on faith and all that goes with it. A major point from the description was that the knight plays a game of chess against Death himself for his life. The way everyone describes it makes it sound like that's the central thing going on in this movie but it really isn't. I thought the exploration of morals and what not was more central than that. The game gets oh I dunno, 15 minutes screen time total, and that's being generous. This is a well paced and acted movie despite it's age. Very well done for it's time. This is a foreign film and it is black and white. I'd give this a shot if you don't mind reading all the lines. I can't help but get a little bored about a 3rd into things when I have to read it, I'm terrible.

This gets 3 pairs of tights out of 5

Day 64 - Gamer

Day 64 and I watched Gamer. Gamer is a lot like Running Man. There's convicts fighting for their freedom. Fighting to the death of course, but they're convicts so people accept the blood baths. Gerard Butler's character is close to getting out and we join him as he's running the last 5 out of 30 games he needs for freedom. You know, I was not expecting much coming into this movie. First of all, movies based on games rarely work out in the slightest sense of the phrase "work out." Second, Gerard Butler's choice of movies range from romantic comedy to romantic comedy to 300. Pretty inconsistent Mr. Butler. This is pretty solid though, as long as you don't expect an oscar-winning performance or a romantic comedy. Plus there's teeny references to all you nerds out there like me. Like teabagging. The action is pretty decent too, other than being underwhelming in the audio department at parts. I don't know if that's on purpose to detach you from the action as if you were watching a video game or something and if that was the case it was unnecessary. Give this a shot if you're thinking about watching an action movie sometime.

This is going to earn itself a cool 3.7 homing bullet shells things out of 5

Day 63 - Alvin and the Chimpmunks The Squeakuel.

Day 63 and I watched Alvin and the Chipmunks THE SQUEAKUEL. There's no way to make that word look correct. This one has the chipmunks going back to school in an attempt to lead a normal young life. But they're chipmunks! They are also going to a human high school or middle school. They deal with bullies and cliques and stuff like that. Then there's the girlmunks and they go to school too and they like the manmunks. This is probably a tad worse than the first movie. It's kinda funny here and there but nothing crazy. The chipmunks still sing and everything and I never really went for that. Alvin is a huge douche in this movie. Theodore is still fat and the cutest. Simon is still a nerd. I guess if you're a huge fanmunk check this movie out, or if you're a little kid. I didn't find it terribly charming this time around.

2.5 toy motorcycles out of 5

Day 62 - Harsh Times

Day 62 and I watched Harsh Times. Harsh Times is about an ex-soldier, played by Christian Bale who is trying to return to a somewhat normal life. He seemed to have grown up in southern California so he's connected and at home in all the gang life. Also evident by the fact that Bale is using a annoying mexican accent through much of the movie. It's so weird to see Batman talking like that, but after a while you forget it. He's got a friend that tags along with him who has a lot going for him without Bale trying to drag him down. I felt really bad for Bale's friend. I knew from reading the description of the movie that they got in to some serious trouble at some point so I was on the edge of my seat with tension for most of the movie. They have no trouble making mistakes either. Everyone does a great job acting, the only gripe I have is Bale's accent. A very good, tense movie, give it a watch.

4.3 kilos out of 5

Day 61 - Garfield's Pet Force

Day 60 and I watched Garfield's Pet Force. Ok, so I picked another really short one but I was a huge fan of Garfield back in grade school, plus it was short and it's brand new on Netflix's instant viewing list. Garfield's Pet Force is about a group of super pets in an alternate dimension. The 3 out of the 4 super pets gets captured and it's up to Garzooka to find some pets with DNA that matches his friends so he can give them super powers. He finds himself in comic land looking for Garfield's friends. This is a computer animated movie and honestly it's not animated all that well. All of the characters have kind of wooden expressions and some of the actual animation is pretty rough. If you're 7 years old you won't notice. This is a children movie after all. I think maybe I've outgrown my Garfield days because there wasn't much that was all that funny in this movie.

2 Abnermals out of 5

Day 60 - A Serious Man

Day 60 and I watched A Serious Man. A Serious Man is about a jewish guy and his troubles with his family and work and his neighbor and everything in between. This is a Coen movie but it seems to be a little lacking to me. It may be because I'm not up to snuff on my jewish culture, and that seems to be who this is really aimed towards. I mean, parts of it are funny, but I kept thinking that jokes were flying over my non-kosher head. You can't help but feel bad for the main character though, he's going through a divorce, his job is in question, some kid is trying to bribe him, his kids seem to be oblivious to everything and keep whining about the television, his neighbor gives him a hard time, he's got a brother or brother-in-law living with him who seems to be a little unstable. He has a lot on his plate and he's looking for help from the church and he's not getting anything. The ending left me hanging as well. If you're jewish you'll probably take more away from this movie than I did.

This gets 2.4 equations out of 5.