Day 42 - Big Fan

Day 42 and I watched Big Fan. Big Fan stars Patton Oswalt who is a NY Giants fan of great proportions. He calls a midnight radio show all the time and him and his friend, played by Kevin Corrigan, go to games all the time to watch their favorite team. From the parking lot. At first, it's easy to like Patton's character, he's kind of a loser and he really loves football. Then one fateful evening he meets his idol and follows him around a little bit and tries to meet him but ends up getting beat up by his own hero. After that it's hard to really feel for Patton and I found myself rooting against him. Patton did a good job in the role its just the character that's questionably off-balance mentally. He just refuses to listen and help himself about anything. There's little teeny sprinkles of humor here and there, most of it is of the darker variety but there's not many moments that are even smile inducing. Kevin Corrigan has some of the better lines in the movie, especially when he's trying to give any sort of advice. Big Fan is just an ok, if not frustrating movie.

2.5 more natural rootbeers out of 5

Day 41 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

It's day 41 and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. What a movie! Eternal Sunshine is about a guy who has a rough break up and comes to learn of a new procedure in which you can have people erased from your memory. He goes through with it but during the procedure he decides he'd rather hang on to the memories. Jim Carey is fantastic as a guy who's an introvert and Kate Winslet plays a compulsive extrovert. Their love story is a shining example of opposites attracting, and they obviously click and it's great. During the procedure is when this movie truly shines. Jim Carey is in the middle of his memories as they're being erased. There's subtle things going on like books turning blank and there's whole things disappearing or degrading. It's really quite something to watch, it's like a 40+ minute dream sequence and it feels ahead of its time. It's quirky and humorous and sad and I just can't get over it. In watching this movie you can't help but wonder if you'd go through with something like this if it were available. There's so many angles to that question explored in this movie and I don't want to get into it too much and spoil the fun. If you haven't seen this movie yet you're seriously missing out.

An easy 5 sink baths out of 5

Day 40 - Interview with the Vampire

It's day 40 today and I watched Interview with the Vampire. I just noticed that the title is not Interview with a Vampire, it is Interview with THE Vampire. This movie is about the vampire life and what those creatures of the night deal with in their "lives." Brad Pitt plays a brooding vampire that ends up regretting his choice to become a vampire and still has a conscience and what not. He doesn't like taking lives but every once in a while the hunger takes him. Tom Cruise plays the vampire that turns Brad Pitt into one. Tom's vampire takes joy in seducing people and feeding on them and is trying to push Brad to get past his morality and embrace what he has become. Tom is awesome in this movie and now this has got to be one of my favorite roles he's done. Kirsten Dunst is also in this and I think this was her first big role and she does a really good job despite being super young. Even Antonio Banderas joins in on the fun! This movie did tend to drag in parts and it was a little theatrical I thought at some parts. For sure an interesting movie though.

I'm gonna give this 3.5 rats out of 5

Day 39 - The Ladykillers

Day 39 and I watched The Ladykillers. The Ladykillers is about a hodgepodge group of criminals who get together and scheme to rob a casino. They also decide to set up base in an old lady's basement. I enjoyed this movie mostly for the dialogue. Tom Hanks plays a professor who talks extremely eloquently and seeing him talking to anyone is good for a smirk. If that's not your cup of tea Marlon Wayans does his usual black dude heavy slang talk and it's good for a laugh most of the time. There's also J.K. Simmons who plays a guy who is almost smart enough to do what he tries to do all the while dealing with IBS. There's also a doofus football player and an awesome asian guy who everyone calls "The General." I love movies like this that have a bunch of quirky personalities interacting with one another.  There plan hits snags along the way, of course, and I never really felt like the movie was dragging. This is a remake of an older movie and I'd be interested in seeing that just to see the differences. There's better movies out there but I don't think you can really go too wrong if you decide to rent this some night.

The Ladykillers gets 3.8 fingers out of 5

Day 38 - 2012

Day 38 and tonight I watched 2012. 2012 is about the world going crazy and pretty much ending. If you're not too annoyed with all this mayan calendar stuff by now you may just enjoy this movie. This is a disaster movie done just about as well as it can be. Ample time is spent on the characters so you sort of care about what happens to them, you've also got people of all walks of life involved somehow. It feels like a fleshed out story, which is just icing on the cake because this movie is a special effects orgy. Waves are crashing, buildings are falling over, cars are flying all over the place, volcanoes are exploding and all kinds of other stuff is going on, and it's going on on a huge scale. It's a fun movie to watch. It's not overly sappy and there's enough comic relief so things don't get too tense so all of you people who think this may scare you don't worry. That all being said there's only so good a movie like this can really be I think. It's a fun movie, don't expect an enthralling and intricate story of anything at all. That doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable though.

The worst thing in the movie is easily John Cusack's daughter, it's like all she can do is scream "mommy" or "daddy."

This gets 3.5 pull-ups out of 5.

Day 37 - Poseidon

Mayday 37 and I watched Poseidon. Poseidon is really a more modern version of Titanic, minus the love story. We start out with a giant boat and it's new year's eve and everyone is celebrating and then there is a wave. It doesn't take long to get down to the nitty gritty and throw all the people on board a real party. Not long enough I thought. I guess I would have liked a little more introduction. After the wave hits the crew tells everyone to stay in the ballroom and there's a few that aren't content to just wait for rescue. We've got a father and daughter with her boyfriend, some dickish ex navy guy (he comes around though), a butthole guy who doesn't last long, a girl that's afraid of everyone, an architect and a mother and son in the crew that decides to go. A few drop fairly predictably in the face of certain obstacles. I didn't really feel much connection to anyone, the characters aren't all that endearing. Again it's hard to feel nervous for someone when you don't really care either way. The special effects were good enough. If you love disaster movies this is probably a good movie but I need more than a love for a genre to make me like a movie!

This gets 2 bolted pianos out of 5

Day 36 - Ping Pong Playa

It's day 12x3 and I watched Ping Pong Playa. Ping Pong Playa, in a nutshell, is a family friendly Happy Gilmore for ping pong. Ping Pong Playa features C-Dub, who is an aspiring basketball player and talks like a gangsta, who ends up having to teach a ping pong class. Pretty standard plot, the kids end up looking up to him and he teaches them stuff and stuff, nothing crazy. There are a few funny parts here and there but it all feels on the generic side. This seemed to have a good deal of montage scenes, so that was nice if you're into that kind of thing. There's not a whole lot to say about this movie, if you liked the setup of Happy Gilmore, of a sports freak getting into a different sport kind of thing, then give this a shot. It's perfectly average. . . I guess.

I'm gonna give this 2.7 word ejaculations out of 5

Day 35 - The Octagon

Day 35 and I decided to go a little old school and watch The Octagon. The Octagon features Chuck Norris fighting some ninja terrorists. It's got it all on paper. I can't even comprehend how they managed to mess something like this up. The dialogue any time Chuck is involved doesn't come off natural and it's groan inducing when he's talking with the girl that takes his keys by mistake. I can't remember her name. The fighting is almost boring thanks to the awesome work of the sound effects crew. Punches land with a limp-wristed thud or something else underwhelming. You can't really call this a crappy action movie because there isn't all that much action. So what about the plot? The plot chugs along just a tad faster than grass grows and I found myself bored for most of the movie. I can't really thing of a huge reason to watch The Octagon. . . unless you're a crazy Chuck Norris fan. This just doesn't live up to the legend!

This gets .8 ninja stars out of 5

sorry Chuck

Day 34 - The Taking of Pelham 123

Day 34 and I watched The Taking of Pelham 123. This movie has John Travolta and friends taking over a subway train and Denzel Washington plays a tunnel traffic controller guy or something and he gets caught in the middle of it all. Travolta plays such a good bad guy and I love seeing him in such a role. Denzel also plays a pretty good average, slightly sheepish guy. I just want to say this seems to have a really long credit sequence at the beginning. Even though the movies playing so you have something to keep you occupied while the credits are happening I was still like, "crap there's a lot of crapping credits." Travolta's character seemed to kind of sway back and forth between reasonable and crazy at sort of random times. I can see why, I mean he's under a lot of pressure but it seems kind of weird when it does happen. It is a decent movie, though. I wouldn't say it does anything revolutionary, really. The coolest thing about it is Travolta's interactions with people. Other than that, it's a pretty basic hostage kind of movie.

I'm gonna give this 3 webcams out of 5

Day 33 - Shutter Island

Day 33 and I took a trip to the theater to see Shutter Island. Shutter Island is about a cop that goes to an island that also houses a mental institution to investigate a missing patient. Well things quickly appear to be amiss and right at the beginning, within the first 5 minutes we come to my major gripe of the movie. The music. The music is just way overpowering and overdone at some parts its almost laughable. They're driving up to the gate of the facility, going through the checkpoint and the music is going nuts. We haven't even got the chance to build up the kind of tension that would call for music like that yet! There's another part later on when the music was a little much but it doesn't happen often. In fact I can only remember twice that I thought the music guy needs some attention or something. Other than that this movie is a twisty rollercoaster and its a fairly fun ride. I guess you could say that it may drag on at parts but I didn't really think so. I do have to say that after watching this and having seen The Departed that Leonardo DiCaprio plays a good stressed to the max guy.

I gotta give this 4.2 rule of fours out of 5

Day 32 - Fletch

How many ways can I put together this sentence: I watched Fletch on day 32. Fletch is about a suave reporter who gets a proposition offered to him to kill a guy. The guy hiring him says he's got bone cancer and that Fletch would be doing him and his family a great service in killing him so that he doesn't have to go through the pain of the condition and so his insurance will pay out. So Fletch sets out to try to see if there's any validity to the claims by tricking people into giving him information. Chevy Chase does well in this movie talking fast and weaseling out of hairy situations. There's a lot of witty things he says and a lot of them are pretty funny. I like the names he gives himself the best. This movie has it's parts but it also gets a little boring at times. Some of the jokes fell flat for me and I found myself getting bored when he wasn't trying to swindle some person. Thankfully, for a lot of the movie he is trying to fool people. If you're a fan of Chevy definitely give this one a watch if you haven't already, the rest of you, wait for a lazy afternoon.

Fletch gets 3.3 water buffaloes out of 5.

Day 31 - Dead Snow

Today is day 31 and I watched Dead Snow. Dead Snow is a foreign zombie movie set it some snowy mountains. The zombies here are a special breed - NAZI ZOMBIES. These aren't really your regular zombie, they're a little more capable than average. The characters in this movie are pretty bad in an almost good way. They're all aspiring doctors I guess and one is superphobic about blood. It comes up a couple times to help establish that fact, a lady cuts her finger and he gets perturbed. Then once the real blood starts flying it never comes up again. He totally forgets his phobia and we just forget about it the rest of the movie. Another lady seems really scared of everything going on and then she's determined and brave minutes later. This movie isn't going for anything serious, though. There's a ton of gore once the zombies start attacking and that's when the movie gets good. The violence and the humor within the violent situations is the reason to watch this movie. Not a gigantic reason, but that's why I'd suggest it at all. Intestines have never gotten stuck on more things I don't think. Maybe it's a problem in the Netherlands or wherever this takes place, but people should be more careful with their guts.

My favorite scene is definitely the self-amputation part.

I'm gonna give this 3.2 snagged entrails out of 5.

Day 30 - Full Metal Jacket

Day triple-ten and I decided on Full Metal Jacket. Full Metal Jacket is a movie based around the Vietnam War and a few saps caught in the thick of it. The first half of the movie features R. Lee Emery yelling at new recruits. We see all the pressure recruits go through during basic training and one of them gets driven off the edge. Once they're done with all that fun they get shipped out to Vietnam. The movie seems to center around the Joker character but I wouldn't call him the star of the movie. Instead, everyone involved paints a sad picture of the war. Some people just like killing people. One guy is bragging about how many kills he has and doesn't seem to flinch once he has to admit some are women and children; he even jokes around about it. There's other things in the movie that send off the same dismal feelings. A pretty good war movie, just don't go in expecting an action movie.

My favorite parts were any time a recruit was getting yelled at by Mr. Emery.

I'm gonna give this 4 jelly donuts out of 5.

Day 29 - Eight Legged Freaks

I watched Eight Legged Freaks on today the 29th day of this blog day. Eight Legged Freaks is kind of a cornball monster horror movie. There's a guy named Joshua, which is an awesome name for a character, who owns a spider shop. Joshua feeds theses spiders of his crickets from the pond down the road. Little does he know that a toxic waste barrel found its way into the pond and contaminated the whole thing! Radioactive crickets being fed to spiders is not a recipe for success. Soon they grow and break out and start terrorizing the town, starting with pets. There's a bunch of cliche characters in here, the capable female sheriff, the blundering depute, the conspiracy theorist, the old barber, etc, but it's not to the point that you get annoyed. It is a humorous movie and there a lot of small nods and winks and bad puns if you're paying attention. It's a decent movie for what it is.

I'm gonna give this a solid 3.6 furry cat butts out of 5

Day 28 - A Kid in King Arthur's Court

 

Day 28 of my blog here and today I watched A Kid in King Arthur's Court. This also means that my first month is done, even if it is a short month. A Kid in King Arthur's Court stars the kid that's also in Rookie of the Year only he's older now. He's also kind of annoying now. He looks about 18 in this movie but still plays a boy. He even still plays baseball and he's still terrible at it and during one game an earthquake strikes and he falls into a fault line and ends up in the middle ages. This also features a younger Daniel Craig and the bad guy from True Lies. I wanted to like this movie but it's just not all that funny and it comes off kind of generic feeling. The kid falls in love with a princess and tries to show her inventions from present day and teach her some slang and there was probably a lot of potential there but I didn't see much taken advantage of. There's moments I guess but for the most part it falls flat. Also the kid is too dang old. If you're looking for something to watch with your kids you can do so much better. 

I'm gonna give this 2 blade rollers out of 5

Day 27 - The V Word

 

Day 27 and tonight I watched The V Word. I'll be honest I picked this movie because it was way short and I'm short on time today due to work and an awesome college hockey game I went to. The V Word is about a couple of teenagers who apparently like to play video games. They decide to go see an actual real dead person who was a friend of theirs. Well things go wrong and they stumble across a vampire who turns them. The vampire is played by Micheal Ironside and that's probably the biggest plus of the movie. The gore is ok as well I suppose. The characters, however, are cardboard. Nothings really well acted and there's not really any suspense or horror to speak of unless maybe you're 11. Just a dumb, cheap horror movie made for tv.

This gets 1 little girl middle finger out of 5

Day 26 - Rookie of the Year

 

Day 26 would be today and today I watched Rookie of the Year. Rookie of the Year is about this kid who has more love for baseball than talent. That all changes when he takes a digger and breaks his arm and when it heals his tendons heal too tight and he can now throw a "frozen rope" over 100mph! This is a kid friendly movie, but that doesn't mean it sucks. It's from a time when kid friendly movies didn't suck, plus Gary Busey is in this. Daniel Stern plays the part of a sort of misdirected guide to the kid as he gets thrust into the world of the big leagues and is always getting himself stuck in goofy situations. John Candy even makes an appearance as an announcer. This is genuinely a funny movie and I laughed out loud quite a few times. I don't know what else to say! 

Favorite scene would probably be when Daniel Stern gets stuck between hotel rooms.

I'll give Rookie of the Year 4 frozen ropes out of 5

Day 25 - Green Street Hooligans

 

I watched Green Street Hooligans today on the 25 day of this here blog. Green Street Hooligans is about Elijah Woods being a college student and getting kicked out because he has a douchey roommate who lets Elijah take the fall for something he did. So he movies to England to be with his sister and gets mixed up with some crazy football fans. They aren't so much football fans as bunch of hooligans who go out and get in fights with fans of other teams. It's a crazy world they live in, and soon Elijah is right there fighting alongside them. To say I enjoyed this movie would be an understatement. There's a lot going on in this movie and it's never hard to keep it straight. I ended up caring about everyone and when things got tense my adrenaline was pumping. The camera work is a little questionable sometimes during the fight scenes, but not quite as bad as the chase scenes in the Bourne movies. I don't think it's a huge knock because I only really noticed it once. The story here is enthralling and it all builds up and gets to such a boiling point that it causes almost everyone involved to take a step back and think about what they're really doing.

The bathroom scene at the end was probably my favorite scene.

This gets 4.9 traffic cones out of 5

Day 24 - Punisher War Zone

 

Day 24 here, reporting a viewing of Punisher War Zone. In this heartfelt narrative a man by the name of Frank Castle searches for answers and redemption after accidentally taking the life of an undercover FBI agent. That's all just a vessel for Frank to punch, shoot, kick, stab, throw and slice the bad guys. The action in this movie is pretty brutal and is really the only reason to watch this movie. I mean, how many times have you seen someone punch through a guy's head? Not many. I could probably count that on one hand. It's based on a comic book, but I wouldn't say it's one of the better movies. There's not a whole lot of story to really grab a hold of. That's ok though, sometimes you just want to sit back and grab some beef jerky, turn off your brain and watch people get their own asses handed to them. This is just a slightly above par action movie.

Favorite scene would probably be when he crashes the party right at the beginning.

This gets 3.5 Krispy Kreme motherfuckers out of 5

Day 23 - Paper Heart

 

Day 23, this blog is as old in days as I am in years and today I watched Paper Heart. Paper Heart is a movie/documentary about a girl who doesn't think that love is for her going around and trying to find out what love actually is. She goes around asking people on what their views of love is, from elvis impersonators to a gay couple to a biker gang. She hits up a diverse crowd. It's interesting seeing all the different view points on what the four letter word means to them. Along the way she meets Micheal Cera and they start having a little fling. The girl in this is awkward with a capitol A. This is a film in which you're not sure how much is real and how much is written. That's a good thing I guess because it seems natural that those two go for each other. This is just a nice, funny, heartwarming movie/documentary. I enjoyed it.

Favorite scene would be any of the homemade diorama parts. Those were cool.

I'm gonna give this 4.1 cheese pizzas out of 5